A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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