Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
