I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
