i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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