You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Having a random hookup so left but love u
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
