I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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