Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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