you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
