Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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