I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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