When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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