Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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