yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
