Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
