This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
