went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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