I showed him my bush... on skype.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
