Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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