Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
