You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
