My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
