I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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