It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
