I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
