your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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