remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
