out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
