Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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