Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
another moral hangover. fuck.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i think i have two assholes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
