He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
