you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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