And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
