high people should be assigned attendants
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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