im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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