Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
