i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
