He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
