Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
