oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
