Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
