My first STD was from a foam party
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
