Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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