GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize