i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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