I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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