people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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