Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will be naked everywhere
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize