I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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