it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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