I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
