She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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