i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
