SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
