i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
