Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
