I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
