I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
