i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
