He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize