But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
